For the New Year!

You Say You Want a Resolution...

By Rick Horowitz

If only you'd done it right -- a party, a toast, perhaps a moment's contemplation as the ball came down -- you'd be over it by now. It would be a dot, nothing more, on your horizon, receding at the speed of willpower.

But that wasn't good enough, not this time. It's time to take control of your life, you said. There are things you can change. So now the party's over, and guess who's stuck with the bill?

You made New Year's resolutions.

Sad, but true: You promised to do things differently this year. You actually -- voluntarily -- wrote things down on a piece of paper, signed and dated it, put it in your desk drawer: "I, delirious, hereby resolve..." And there you sit, the year so fresh you still haven't gotten it right in your checkbook, and already you've got problems.

"...to get rid of those extra five pounds." Closer to ten pounds, really, when you consider all those holiday treats. Weren't you going to call that health club first thing New Year's morning and sign up for their Personal Fitness Program? You did call, you say, but the line was busy -- someone else must have had the same idea. Then you got busy. Not to worry; you'll try again next week.

In the meantime, you're absolutely right -- jogging is a fine way to get started, and this year you're really going to do it, a regular schedule and everything. You even bought yourself a great new jogging suit -- if that's not serious, what is?

If only it wasn't so cold out in the morning! Not just cold, but dark, too. Cold and dark -- and early. That's the trouble with mornings -- they're so early! Maybe weekends would be better. Sure -- you'll wait for the weekends, and you'll run extra long.

Truth be told, you'd just as soon forget the whole thing. If only you hadn't written it down.

"...to read a book every week." And not the kind of stuff you've been reading either. Good books. Books that have been around for more than a week or two. So you didn't do the "classics" when you were younger; no reason you can't start them now.

And as soon as you finish that big project at work, you will, no question. With the hours you've been putting in lately, though, it's all you can do to flip on the TV when you get home, just to relax for a while. You'd think nothing of it normally, but now there are these lines in a desk drawer, promises from you to you, and they're starting to rattle around in there.

They're taking control of your life.

"...to make up with long-lost friends." They wouldn't have been your friends in the first place if they weren't good people -- how hard can it be to let bygones be bygones? If you could stop holding grudges, just forgive and forget, you'd be a much happier person. But you know that -- that's why it's on your list.

True -- they've got telephones, too. They've got pens. There's no reason they can't make the first move; after all, they were the ones who disappointed you. Or nobody moves -- you can just wait each other out. You've gone this long in silence. What's a while longer?

Except that there's all this noise coming from your desk drawer, that line and every line shouting for your attention. You can hardly go about your business for the clamor. There's only one solution: You take the sheet of paper and you tear it right down the middle. Next year -- maybe you'll do those things next year.

You've no sooner tossed the scraps away than you're settled in and comfortable.

You've taken control of your life.