 |
Georgie goes a-courtin' Meanwhile, North of the Border...By Rick Horowitz
Listen up, Canadites: We're sending this note to thank you for your hospitality during the recent visit of our president, George W. Bush, to your country, Canada. We're writing because we thought it would be a nice gesture on our part, and not because anybody said we had to. We should probably thank you twice, because you welcomed the president both in Ottawa (which we understand is your capital) and in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Since it was the president's first "official" visit to Canada, it was definitely a good idea for you to have more than one welcome for him. This way, maybe he'll want to come back. That's not a commitment. We hope you appreciate how important President Bush feels our relationship with Canada is -- that's why he made it the very first stop on his "I Might Let You Be My Friend" tour. He expects to take that same message of conciliation and cooperation to Europe early next year, not that the Europeans would recognize conciliation and cooperation if he hit them over the head with it. (Don't get us started.) We heard that some folks up in Canada were calling the president's visit a "charm offensive." We certainly hope that when they said it, they emphasized the first word and not the second, because otherwise, they might wind up annoying him, which wouldn't be the world's smartest move. Relations between our two countries are already pretty shaky, especially since you wimped out on the war in Iraq. Poking a finger in the president's eye -- particularly a middle finger, but any of the others also -- is only going to make things worse. You don't want to mess with the man. Just ask Saddam Hussein. Of course, Iraq wasn't the only thing President Bush and Mr. Martins got to talk about. For instance, you don't like us keeping your cattle out of our country -- you say it hurts your economy. And you don't like us putting big tariffs on your lumber -- you say it really hurts your economy. Like we care? But you wanted to talk about it, so we talked about it. And the president said we'll keep talking about it, just like he told you the last time you brought this stuff up. We don't know how we can be any more cooperative than that. Besides, some of these issues go back for decades -- suddenly you're turning pushy on us? What a laugh! Look, the president let you make your arguments even though you disagreed with him. A lot of folks in this country wish they could have that chance. So you might want to show a little gratitude instead of belly-aching all the time. This president is always willing to consult with our allies, and to have our allies standing at our side (although it's actually better if they stand one step behind -- that way, they don't block the pictures.) But "consulting with and "standing at" are one thing. "Listening to" is something else again. It's just like President Bush explained during his visit, "I'm the kind of fellow who does what I think is right." You got a problem with that? Even friends sometimes have their disagreements, and that goes for the U.S.A. and Canada, too. But it doesn't mean we aren't still friends. What's important is to keep it all in perspective and to remember all the things our two countries have in common. The president even made a hockey joke -- what more do you people want? Anyway, President Bush told you he understands how hard it can be to be a superpower's neighbor, and that's even before you get to the jealousy part. Not that we're apologizing for being a difficult neighbor, or for the war, or for anything else, for that matter. We think we're a great neighbor, and you're darned lucky to have us. If it wasn't for us, you'd have a big hole, and then Mexico. Posted 12/2/04. Track
the diplomatic niceties (and the nice-so-niceties) with award-winning
commentary at "Rick's"!
|
  |
Rick Horowitz
