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Wall-to-wall They'll Be Back with More (And More) After ThisBy Rick Horowitz "Hey, Ms. Kopella, you wanted to see me? Mr. Evanson said you -- " "Come on in, Jared -- I'm so glad you came down." "No prob -- it's just homeroom. What's goin' on?" "Come sit for a minute, OK? And why don't you close the door behind you -- that way we won't be interrupted." "Except every minute. You're like the busiest person I ever saw!" "Well, there are lots of students here at Riverbed, and we try to be helpful to each and every one of them. Different kids need different kinds of guidance, you know, and that takes time." "Fine. So what do I need?" "Well, Jared, I've had a chance to look at your first-quarter grades, and to be perfectly honest with you, I'm a little concerned. In a couple of areas, you're doing just fine -- this B+ in Band, for instance, that's very good. And you got a B in American Studies -- Ms. Morales says she really likes having you in her class, and -- " "Ms. Morales is great. So am I in trouble?" "It's not trouble exactly, Jared -- it's more like...worry. The rest of your grades are mostly Cs, and even some Ds, just like they were last year and the year before that. I'm just really worried that you seem to be drifting, without any -- " "No way! I already decided -- I'm gonna be a themer." "A what?" "A themer. Like on cable. You know, the one decides on all that theme stuff for the programs." "'Theme stuff'?" "You know, like 'Sniper on the Loose: The Search for a Killer'? Or 'Caught in the Cross Hairs'? They all get these cool titles -- that's when you know it's a really important program." "Jared, I'm not sure they're programs exactly. I think they're more like news updates -- " "Whatever." " -- when something major happens somewhere." "Or even when it doesn't. Like when they're telling you the same thing over and over again while they're waiting for something else to go down. But with the themes, at least you know right away which one they're talking about." "And so you want to..." "I want to make up the themes. 'Summer of the Shark' -- that was so cool! Or 'Our Kids Are Missing!' Or -- " "And you think this can be a full-time job? A career?" "Of course not -- you gotta do the music too!" "I'm not sure I -- " "You know: 'Dum-da-da-dum-dum-de-dum, dum-da-da-dum-dum-de-dum' -- that's for like when there's a war coming. Or 'Oooooh-ahhh, oooooh-ahhh, dum-dum-dum-dum oooooh-ahhh' -- that's for like when it's something tragic. Andre and Caitlin, we stick around after Band, we already have maybe 20 of them -- I can burn you a copy." "I'll take your word for it." "Here -- you pick. You want me to sing you the one for 'Back to Iraq'?" "That's really not necess -- " "How about 'Peril on the Peninsula'? 'Wall Street Wipeout'? 'Martha's Mess'?" "No, really..." Posted 10/23/02.
Rick tries very hard not to tell you the same thing over and over again.
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Rick Horowitz
